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Silent Anger

Hi! Thanks to all of you who took the time to leave a comment on my last post. It’s such a wonderful feeling to read all your kind words and good wishes. You are all so nice. Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling terrible and now my chest hurts really bad like it’s cracking open. I often feel the pain in my chest when I feel upset. I have so much going on in my head that I don’t even know where to start to tell you. I feel like there are so many things wrong with me though my family thinks I’m fine.

First of all, I have so much anger and disappointments in my life that I find it difficult to put in words. It makes me literally shake and it haunts me every day. It’s crazy how one little thing could ruin my whole mood easily. So much unneeded rage and it’s starting to get to me. No one sees it, of course, because I taught myself not to show my anger when I'm not alone.

I can control my anger to the point where I don’t explode every time I get angry, but I can’t let my anger go either. I mean, whenever I’m angry at someone or something, I try very hard not to show it because the logical part in my brain suspects it’s an overreaction and I know that when I do explode, I will end up saying hurtful things. I don’t want to hurt anyone so I just keep it bottled and stored up to avoid all that.