Hey, cutes...
Finally, it’s 2018. So, first of all, happy new year to all of you. I hope you had a lovely New Year break and enjoyed the time to chill with your family. Celebrating New Year is an old tradition. It’s when the town filled with colorful decorations. It's one of the happiest moments of almost everyone’s life. Almost everyone, because I don’t really see the point of celebrating new year somehow. It’s not quite fun and exciting for me. I mean, it’s always about the beginnings anyway. January 1 feels exactly the same as December 31 to me.
I still remember when I was a little girl, I thought something magical must happen in the middle of the night since all the grownups looked so happy about it. One night, my parents let me stay up past midnight. I was very excited to wait for that magical thing to happen. But… nothing happened. I never celebrate the New Year’s again since then. But I love fireworks though. I love to see fireworks lighting up the sky. It’s so beautiful and fun to watch. That’s my only reason to stay up late on new year. Well, I hope you all have a super fantastic year with lots of learning ahead. May God bless you with all the success and happiness you deserve.
Okay, enough talking about new year. Thank you so much for your lovely comments and tips on my last post about my anger issue. I’ve seen all of your comments and they’re making me cry—but in a good way, of course. I’m so touched at how nice and sweet you are to me. Reading all your comments really made my day.
You know, before I started this blog, I used to feel so alone and lonely. I felt like no one really understood me or cared about me. And I was struggling with some family problems so I was very stressed out that I worried I would become mentally ill if I didn’t do anything about it, then I decided to make a blog and write about my feelings and thoughts. I didn’t really expect anything. At the moment, I just want to get all my frustration out of my chest before I went crazy. And I never thought some strangers would stop by to read my posts and write such comforting comments or even offer me a friendship. That is just so wonderful and I am so flattered because I don’t really have many friends.
Well, I do know some people, but I don’t have very deep friendships with them as they barely hang out with me. They always busy doing their thing and they have their own friends who are definitely way cooler than me to hang out with. They do a lot of things more with them than with me so that makes me feel like I don’t have friends or anyone close that I truly relate with. It’s taken me awhile to come to this conclusion and be brave enough to admit this to myself. Wait, is this even normal? Everybody seems to have at least one friend. Everybody, but me😅
Sometimes I don’t know if my expectations are too high for people. I don’t need to be always a priority, but when they just don’t proactively make plans to see me, I feel like I do all the reaching out and that makes me feel like I’m inherently unlikeable. I guess that shows you how insecure I really am.
I envy those who make friends so easily like flipping a coin simply because I’m suck at making new friends due to my shyness and lack of confidence. My issue is how uncomfortable I feel around most people and how long it takes me to feel comfortable. It seems other people just click with random other people and they’re besties in a matter of minutes or hours. I envy that because I’m kind of a loner. I’ve had anxiety ever since I can remember and making friends has never come easy for me because of this.
I have plenty of acquaintances though, the people that I talk to on a semi-regular basis, mostly my mutual on facebook. Yes, I’m a shy loner who has social accounts too! I have thousands of people following me on Twitter, over 500 followers on Instagram, and I also become friends with more than 200 people on Facebook, but that’s only because I play Farmville 2 so I need neighbors for my farm, haha. 🤨What? Farmville is a chill fun game, people!
Finally, it’s 2018. So, first of all, happy new year to all of you. I hope you had a lovely New Year break and enjoyed the time to chill with your family. Celebrating New Year is an old tradition. It’s when the town filled with colorful decorations. It's one of the happiest moments of almost everyone’s life. Almost everyone, because I don’t really see the point of celebrating new year somehow. It’s not quite fun and exciting for me. I mean, it’s always about the beginnings anyway. January 1 feels exactly the same as December 31 to me.
I still remember when I was a little girl, I thought something magical must happen in the middle of the night since all the grownups looked so happy about it. One night, my parents let me stay up past midnight. I was very excited to wait for that magical thing to happen. But… nothing happened. I never celebrate the New Year’s again since then. But I love fireworks though. I love to see fireworks lighting up the sky. It’s so beautiful and fun to watch. That’s my only reason to stay up late on new year. Well, I hope you all have a super fantastic year with lots of learning ahead. May God bless you with all the success and happiness you deserve.
Okay, enough talking about new year. Thank you so much for your lovely comments and tips on my last post about my anger issue. I’ve seen all of your comments and they’re making me cry—but in a good way, of course. I’m so touched at how nice and sweet you are to me. Reading all your comments really made my day.
You know, before I started this blog, I used to feel so alone and lonely. I felt like no one really understood me or cared about me. And I was struggling with some family problems so I was very stressed out that I worried I would become mentally ill if I didn’t do anything about it, then I decided to make a blog and write about my feelings and thoughts. I didn’t really expect anything. At the moment, I just want to get all my frustration out of my chest before I went crazy. And I never thought some strangers would stop by to read my posts and write such comforting comments or even offer me a friendship. That is just so wonderful and I am so flattered because I don’t really have many friends.
Well, I do know some people, but I don’t have very deep friendships with them as they barely hang out with me. They always busy doing their thing and they have their own friends who are definitely way cooler than me to hang out with. They do a lot of things more with them than with me so that makes me feel like I don’t have friends or anyone close that I truly relate with. It’s taken me awhile to come to this conclusion and be brave enough to admit this to myself. Wait, is this even normal? Everybody seems to have at least one friend. Everybody, but me😅
Sometimes I don’t know if my expectations are too high for people. I don’t need to be always a priority, but when they just don’t proactively make plans to see me, I feel like I do all the reaching out and that makes me feel like I’m inherently unlikeable. I guess that shows you how insecure I really am.
I envy those who make friends so easily like flipping a coin simply because I’m suck at making new friends due to my shyness and lack of confidence. My issue is how uncomfortable I feel around most people and how long it takes me to feel comfortable. It seems other people just click with random other people and they’re besties in a matter of minutes or hours. I envy that because I’m kind of a loner. I’ve had anxiety ever since I can remember and making friends has never come easy for me because of this.
I have plenty of acquaintances though, the people that I talk to on a semi-regular basis, mostly my mutual on facebook. Yes, I’m a shy loner who has social accounts too! I have thousands of people following me on Twitter, over 500 followers on Instagram, and I also become friends with more than 200 people on Facebook, but that’s only because I play Farmville 2 so I need neighbors for my farm, haha. 🤨What? Farmville is a chill fun game, people!
So, I’d maybe say something on a post or two, retweet or like their cool video or have a long argument in the comment section, but that’s it. I really don’t have anyone to talk to on a daily regular basis. No one that I deeply confide in. And if I didn’t go to school, I would go months without speaking to a human who wasn’t my parents.
Well, I guess I’m one of those people that’s not meant to have friends. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but I think that’s just the way I’m set up. And at this point in my life, I think I don’t have a problem with it. I will be just fine as long as I have my blog. Writing always makes me feel so much better. And it helps me to socialize too.
Oh, and I have you guys as my new friends! I really, really appreciate your nice and sweet comments. You are all so amazing!
Well, I guess I’m one of those people that’s not meant to have friends. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but I think that’s just the way I’m set up. And at this point in my life, I think I don’t have a problem with it. I will be just fine as long as I have my blog. Writing always makes me feel so much better. And it helps me to socialize too.
Oh, and I have you guys as my new friends! I really, really appreciate your nice and sweet comments. You are all so amazing!
Alhamdulillah ya... jika komentar pengunjung blog bisa membangkitkan semangat. Keep blogging :)
ReplyDeletekalau kamu depresi, kita sama.. jadi ayo kita jd teman baik sista :)
ReplyDeletedan happy new year ya...
hi nice to meet you :)
ReplyDeleteTahun baru? Aku disibukkan karena ada hubungan dengan pekerjaan jadi mau tidak mau ikut dalam acara itu
ReplyDeleteAlhamdulillah aku termasuk orang yg tidak begitu gaul, kalau sdg free ya diam aja dirumah, tapi aku senang berteman dg siapa saja baik di sosmed maupun di dunia nyata, meski demikian tetap saja ada batasannya dan itu cukup membahagiakan dan tidak membuat aku kesepian, ya komentar di blog mampu menumbuhkan semangat ngeblog ku hehe
meskipun kurang gaul bukan berarti nggak bisa jadi sosialita kan neng, buktinya di dunia maya si neng maya mah udah jadi sosialtia kelas wahid, kenapabisa begitu, coba?
Deletekarena kemanapun aku melangkah pasti neng Maya ada di situ, itu artinya neng Maya udah ngetop, sosilita dunia maya mah bukan pamer harta tapi ngetop....bukan begitu kan neng?
Hehe, nggak cari popularitas di sosmed kok Mang, cuma kadang suka iseng keliling-keliling di dunia Maya sekedar menghibur diri dari pada ngetumpi di rumah tetangga hehe yg penting PR selesai beres hehe
DeleteKalau di dumay saya nggak banyak gaul, jarang ber-sosmed ria, paling cuma nge-share postingan di FB dan Twitter terus melarikan diri, hihi..
ReplyDeleteBeda dengan dunia nyata, lumayan sibuk. Sebagai ibu yang bekerja dari pagi sampai Maghrib, libur cuma Ahad doang, itupun banyak kegiatan arisan, pengajian dan mendampingi pengajian remaja. Belum pekerjaan rumah tangga. Terus kalau malam bercanda sama anak. Capek tapi senang :)
Coba ikuti kegiatan di rumah Ran, biar nggak kesepian. Karang Taruna atau Pengajian Remaja, atau ngajarin ngaji anak-anak TPQ, pasti seruu..
klo gw tahun baru pasti molor :p
ReplyDeleteTeruslah menulis. Karena dengan menulis, sekalipun kesepian, kita akan baik-baik saja
ReplyDeleteUmmmm aku ingin menjadi temanmu! Rasanya aku ingin membantu mu agar tidak kesepian lagi^^ ayo berteman!
ReplyDeletembak, tambahin donk postingannya. masa sedikit sedikit :p
ReplyDeletedulu aku punya banyak sahabat, skrg sepertinya ya begitu sibuk masing-masing. Mungkin kamu belum ketemu yg klik aja say, siapa tahu ke depannya banyak teman dan sahabat, apalagi kalau konsisten menulis, semangat yaa
ReplyDeletebaca postingan ini jadi ingat sama diri sendiri waktu 2016. aku paham sama yang kamu tulis di atas, ngak apa-apa kok. malah kamu bisa mandiri dari sekarang, kemana-mana nggak ada temen pun nggak apa-apa. awalnya aku juga sedih tapi lama-lama udah biasa.
ReplyDeletecoba cari komunitas seru yang sesuai minat kamu, ketemu orang baru emang bikin nervous dan parno tapi 2-3 kali ketemu orang baru kamu bakal biasa sama small talk ;) siapa tahu malah ketemu orang yg klik sama kamu?
yuk ngobrol di twitter :D @94afii
Berdamai dengan diri sendiri.
ReplyDeleteGatau juga sih, saya juga gak ada yang bisa diajak obrol setiap saat. Merasa kesepian. Tapi apa masalahnya? Mungkin jangan terlalu banyak berdiam diri, berkarya, atau apapun, menyibukkan diri sendiri.
Tapi kalo pun begitu bukankah ada yang selalu mau mendengarkan obrolan kita? Tuhan.
sepertinya baru pertama kali mengunjungi blog ini dan merasa.... hei aku juga seperti itu. dulu temenku cuma orang-orang yang ketemu di sosmed, game, dan pertemanan online lainnya. memang, aku punya temen yang bisa ditemuin langsung, tapi kadang aku lebih nyaman cerita ke temen-temen onlineku.
ReplyDeletekadang dalam pertemanan aku juga merasa di nomor duakan. ada apa enggak juga nggak masalah. tapi, percayalah bakal ada yang bener-bener tulus dalam berteman.
dan masalah melakukan pelarian ke menulis di blog, salah satu alasanku juga gitu.
semangat :)))
It's okay dear
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to please everyone
You don't have ti make everyone like you
Be your self
Live your life
I believe one day you'll find that dream bestfriends.
I believe that
Meanwhile, you're not alone kok
There are we, your bloggersmate :)
setujuuu. we are here! bersahabat dalam kata2 :)
Deleteterus menulis mba yah dan tetap semnagat .
ReplyDeletePernah akrab banget sama temen melalui sosmed, hampir empat tahun temenan pas ketemu sehari hubungan kita diam-diam aja. Menyesal deh huhu
ReplyDeleteSaya ngeblog niatnya hanya ingin menyalurkan bakat yang suka bercerita atau menulis sekaligus hoby saya yang suka photo-photo.
ReplyDeleteDengan menulis, juga melatih otak kita untuk tetap tumbuh dan kreatif, tidak terjebak pada kegalauan yang membuat tubuh kita semakin rapuh.
Dengan menulis ,tersalurkan sudah rasa amarah, dan selang beberapa bulan untuk membaca ulang, ada rasa keki sendiri. Ah terlalu kekanak-kanakan. Ya semua butuh proses.
Ah media sosial, bukan menjadi patokan teman setia atau teman sesungguhnya. Bergaullah ditengah masyarakat, sejatinya disanalah teman yang sesungguhnya.
Oh, Tahun Baru...
Setuju dengan mang Djangkaru
DeleteSebab saya juga merasa begitu..
Semoga dengan ngeblog nggak kesepian lagi ya Mbak. Semangat terus :)
ReplyDeletemendarat perdana di blog ini... salam kenal..^^
ReplyDeletesaya masih belajar ngeblog.. mohon bimbinganya ya
oh iya.. blognya kece.. sukak..
ReplyDeleteaq suka nih blog yg simple2 seperti ini..^^
semangat menulis..... ;)
Salam kenal, Mbak..menulis memang membuat saya jauh lebih bahagia..pastinya begitu juga buat mbak yaa.. :)
ReplyDeleteSMP SMA tuh aku banget bahahaha. Sibuk banget berteman di medsos. Ah banyak yang pingin kuungkapkan mengenai tulisan ini. Tapiii banyak dah. Kapan2 deh ketemu (?) kita ngobrol. Aku juga ngerasa orang yang awkward XD
ReplyDeleteTetap semangat menulis ya, emang bener kalau dengan menulis perasaan kita lebih lega karena menulis adalah berbagi :)) kamu bisa share apa pun yg kamu rasakan..
ReplyDeleteSemoga dengan adanya blog dan teman-teman di dunia maya, kamu bisa merasa lebih baik.. Yuk senyum dulu, nah gitu kan lebih cakep haha :D
Kok saya jadi sedih yah membaca nya
ReplyDeletetapi bagus juga deh ngeblog nulis artikel ketimbang harus kemana gitu pelariannya (emang mau kemana)
yah memang ngga kerasa juga sih 340 hari lagi kita udah nyambut 2019 ajah gitu kan
jadi untuk apa tahun baru
hehehehehehhehe
Buat saya, tahun baru adalah saat saat dimana kita harus koreksi setiap urusan seperti keinginan yg blm tercapai harus bs di capai setelah tahun baru ..
ReplyDeleteMbak admin, mau ksh masukan, blog nya di kasih readmore aja biar lbh rapi ga terlalu panjang homepage nya :D
Ending nya bikin baper mbak :(
ReplyDeleteSemoga di tahun ini bisa lebih semangat lagi ya, dalam hal apapun itu, ngeblog sekalipun.
ReplyDeleteAwal dari ngeblog aku juga banyak mengenal teman baru, bahkan bisa bertemu secara langsung juga.. Semoga kedepan bisa kopdar semuanya, kan asik tuh!
Setuju sih. Tahun baru sebenarnya sama dengan hari-hari lainnya. Ada yang harus dilanjutkan, dan ada yg harus diakhiri. Dan bagiku tak perlu ada perayaan khusus.
ReplyDeletepunya sahabat bukan berarti harus melakukan kegiatan bersama2 24/7 but to have someone to chit chat with and share your thoughts. But is okay if you are a loner just don't get too depressed about it. I used to love celebrating new year and any other religious celebration. Ada sesuatu yg ditunggu2 dari hari2 besar itu. Ya, tentu saja kl mau dipikir dari segi ah, ya semua hari itu sama aja tentunya okeh juga. Bisa ngirit kan, daripada keluar duit buat merayakan hari ultah, hari perayaan pernikahan, hari lulus dari sekolah, hari ketika naik pangkat and so on :)
ReplyDeleteEh, saya ngomong udah out of topic banget ya...
Semangat nulis terus ya ^^ Setuju deh kalau menulis emang bikin kita jadi lebih baik ^^
ReplyDeleteKalau sahabat diartikan sebagai seseorang yang harus terus bersama dan selalu menjadi tempat curhat, sepertinya saya udah lewat masanya. Kadang saya pun merasa tidak ada yang dekat. Tapi bukan berarti bermusuhan juga. Sedangkan dnegan beberapa orang yang sudah saya jadikan sahabat, malah jarang banget ketemu
ReplyDeleteSemua mempunyai tingkat masalah masing - masing dan sedang beranjak berlari untuk segera menyelesaikan nya. Jangan menyerah jika tak termasuk dalam kumpulan orang orang sekitarmu.
ReplyDeleteMengalir saja, maka tuhan akan memberimu petunjuk untuk berjuang melawan kerasnya dunia.
Bisa jadi ditunjuk sebagai pahlawan bertopeng :D
Salam kenal, mungkin itu yang perlu saya ucapkan untuk kenal lebih jauh!
ReplyDeleteMembaca ceritamu ini jujur bikin aku mau nangis karena aku seperti melihat diriku sendiri yg dulu. Dulu aku juga sama kayak kamu, gak ada temen yang ngajak aku main, aku selalu sendirian dan selalu ngerasa kesepian. Dan aku juga mengalami depresi dan gejala kecemasan. Tapi sekarang walaupun udah punya temen deket yg selalu ngasih aku semangat ketika lagi down, tetep aja di saat-saat tertentu aku masih ngerasa sendiri Dan kesepian.
ReplyDeleteJadi, kamu gak berjuang sendirian melawan kesendirian kok! Semangat ya! 😊
Wah tos dulu sini kak, kita sama kok.. Ku pernah depresi gara2 gegar otak ringan, hmmm... Semangat ya kak
ReplyDeleteAlhamdulillah msh ringan :D
DeleteRatu umurnya berapa sih? Masih SMA ya?
ReplyDeleteSuka baca buku tidak? Kalau iya, coba deh baca buku Personality Plus karya Florence Littauer.
Saya banyak berubah menjadi lebih baik meskipun masih melakukan banyak dosa karena membaca buku itu.
Tentu saja kita tidak sendirian di sini. Menurutku setiap orang suka berteman dan bertemu orang orang, termasuk di dunia maya (blog seperti ini)
ReplyDeleteSalam kenal
Semoga menyenangkan.
Justru dengan menulis, itu bisa menyampaikan uneg-uneg kita tanpa beban. Kan paling kalo ada yang baca orang yang gak kenal kita. Sama kaya gw, nulis mah buat cari hiburan doang. Mau dibaca gak dibaca mah bodo amat.
ReplyDeleteTahun baru? Tidur lahh...
Aku udah pensiun mainan Farmville. :D
ReplyDeletesaya tidak pernah merasakan namanya malam tahun baru seprti orang kebanyakan
ReplyDeletebanyak yang bisa kita lakukan
saya seorang introvert akut bahkan sampe sekarang
tapi saya bgitu punya banyak teman di dunia maya
yang membuat saya semgnat untuk berkarya dan terus semangat
Masa sih introvert hahaha
DeleteIntro aja dlu, terus chorus lalu refren hahaha
Salam kenal, ketemu link lagi blogwalking, coba mampir deh ke sini.
ReplyDeleteMet tahun baru dlu ah walau ud basi 24+ haha, gpp, yang penting semangat barunya.
Keep blogging, blog nya biar di 2018 lebih ramai lagi #salam
Mau rayain apa gk, yg penting semangatnya tetap baru #caiyo
Saya pernah mengalami masa-masa yang tidak mudah, terutama setelah ditinggal duluan menghadap oleh yang sangat tercinta, maka menulis dan menulis, beberapa di antaranya dimuat di koran, menjadikan hal yang berat itu sedikit demi sedikit terasa ringan...
ReplyDeleteduh, apa kabar ya kebun saya... kangen main farmville hihihi...
ReplyDelete((karena pengin punya tetangga di Farmville)) Semangat terus! Gue juga suka liat kembang api tapi gak suka berisiknya. Soalnya... kadang kaget aja gitu. Hohohoo.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, salam kenal ya! Kayaknya baru pertama kali deh main ke sini. \(w)/
Sekarang udah Februari, tapi gak papa ya kalu mau ngucapin HAPPY NEW YEAAAAAAAAR :v
ReplyDeletesemoga dengan bertambahnya teman blogger,nggak merasa sendiri lagi yaaaa. tetep semangat ngeblognya :)
ReplyDeleteAku kurang pandai dalam bahasa Inggris, jujur aku transalte semuanya di google translate untuk memahami >,< Okelah aku akan menanggapi curahan Ran.
ReplyDeleteMeriahnya kembang api memang pada hari2 tertentu ya seperti tahun baru atau event yang lain. Selain itu, langit terasa sunyi dan gelap. Meski sunyi, bukan berarti para kembang api menghilang, mereka tetap ada, hanya saja tidak tersulut sumbunya. Begitu juga dengan teman, mereka ada dimana saja. Hanya saja, sumbu interaksinya belum tersulut, sehingga jalur komunikasi tidak terbangun. Menulis di blog, sudah merupakan langkah yang tepat, darisitu kuharap Ran mendapatkan banyak teman di 2018 ini yang tidak hanya sekedar berinteraksi dalam bertukar kata, namun juga memahami Ran. Tetap semangat nge-blognya :)
sometimes silence is the best answer for all ..
ReplyDeletepusing saya bacanya, hehe. Malu juga sih nggak tahu heheh
ReplyDeletewaduh tulisannya kecil sekali yaaa..
DeleteSaya juga kadang merasa sendirian. Tidak punya teman dan siapapun yang bisa diajak bicara. Tapi dengan menulis memang bisa dengan mudah meringankan beban yang saya alami.
ReplyDelete